Averages and Hammers...

This is a little ditty about how I leaned to ‘hammer’ the proper way; and along the way got re-taught about the concept of averages.

Context…

Some all too valuable context; having studied and worked in finance for most of my adult life I then turned my hand to the family business of construction and development.

In this story you find me helping one of the carpenters who effectively took me under his wing – whether out of pity or a genuine willingness to teach I am not sure.  This guy was good, in fact he was darn good at what he did, and I was fortunate to shadow him.

This scene finds me helping to put up a suspended ceiling – in particular, hammering nails into the supporting structure that then enabled the ceiling to suspend.

Please also note that for around 20 years I had rarely picked up a tool let alone practised the ‘art’ of hammering like a man!  And trust me – there is an art!

Let us begin…

Carpenter: “So, what did you do in the office before you joined us?”

TaT: “Oh, you know things like numbers and averages.  Looking at reserves and risk and such and such…”  I was proudly reeling off technical maths and finance terms – all the time he just nodded stoically whilst carrying on with his task.

TaT: “You need a hand with anything?  I got the bricks done in the other room so can get stuff done here.”

Carpenter: “Ummm, yeah, actually you can help with the nails in the metal frame.”

TaT: “Cool, okay so those nails into the frame…. around a foot (30cms) apart?”

Carpenter: “Yup, got it.”

Up I got on the ladder and started in earnest, hammering the nails in.  The thing was though; the space in between the frame was small and one had to hold the nail with the free hand while the hammer came down.

A few dropped nails later, and I managed to get a technique that worked for me.  It was not as quick as it was for my teacher but hey I was hammering man.

Fast forward 20 mins…with me thinking I was doing particularly well…

Constructive criticism…

Carpenter: “I said hammer the nails not play with them.”

TaT: “What?”

Carpenter: “Listen to how you are hammering!  It sounds like a jeweller working with precious metals.  What are you afraid of….?!”

TaT: “What?!” Getting a little annoyed, after all I was there helping the man and now he was contesting the technique I had developed!

Carpenter: “Listen to how you sound….tic tic tic…”

TaT: “What’s wrong with that?!  I don’t want to hammer my thumb do I!”

Carpenter: “You’re a man! And you should be hammering the nails like you have something!” Clearly challenging whether I had the anatomy of said males.

TaT: “What! How should I sound then?!”

Carpenter: “You know, TAH….TAH….TAH!  Not that pansy tic…tic….tic…Look, watch…” He nonchalantly picked up a nail, planted it and TAH….TAH…. the nail was in.

TaT: “Oh, yeah, I got it…yeah no problem.”  Dang!  I had to front with him but jeez, If I missed I would be walking off with a much smaller thumb.  The dude was hammering these nails in like there was not a care (or risk) in the world.  Fair point to him, it did sound stronger the way he was doing it but gosh if I missed, it would hurt.

I got some more nails, set myself up on the ladder and mentally replayed what he did.  ‘I can do this’ I repeated in my mind, after all, I had achieved much in the corporate world - surely pushing a nail into a wall should be easy.

Picture the scene, left hand having placed the nail on point.  Right hand and arm drawing the hammer back, readying for the blow.  In hindsight, he must have been expecting something, the carpenter at this point had stopped what he was doing and was looking up at me.

I dared not look over my shoulder but knew his focus was on the nail and optimistically I think he was proudly anticipating his protégé (because after two hours I had obviously shown enough potential!) delivering a man like blow with the hammer.

You could feel the tension in the room.  We both waited with baited breath to see either a successful hit or a rather painful life lesson of how not to hold a nail.

BANG!

The blow landed…like a man’s man of a BANG…

There was only one thing - the fact that it was an inch to the right of the nail!

I heard a muffled giggle over my shoulder.  I looked over, but he pretended not to have seen what just happened and was busying himself shuffling some screws around.

Not to worry, I readied myself again.  Pulled back my shoulders, ‘you got this’ I said to myself.

How hard can it be, you got the movement right, it’s just the calibration of the aim.  Can you tell how much I had over thought the concept?!

I adjusted how I held the nail.  Took a deep breathe and pulled back the hammer.

Knowing that I would be meaning business my mentor watched, this time not even pretending to be busy doing something else.

This is it…time to earn the stripes of the skilled tradesman…down came the hammer…

BANG!

It felt good, I had landed a clean shot…the hit was so hard that I felt a bit of brick dust on my face…I opened my eyes - yes, for some reason I had my eyes closed when I went for gold!

The hammer had landed again precisely an inch away from the target…this time an inch to the left…Frick!

The next thing I heard was the carpenter on the floor howling with laughter at my ineptitude of being able to hit a simple nail.

TaT: “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up!  At least I got close…”

Carpenter: “Oh sure, you did hit like a man I guess.  In fact…”

He walked over with his tape measure – still laughing his head off.  He took in the distances where I had planted the hammer blows.

Carpenter: “Well, these are exactly an inch to the left and right of the actual nail.  You could say that in theory, you hit the nail.”

TaT: “What?!”

Clearly, he was about to make a point.  What he did next was bring us full circle back to the start when I was explaining what I used to do in the office…

Carpenter: “Yeah, look they are both equal distance to each side.  So, you could say you hit the nail…on average!”

GIT!

Take away points:

1)      When practicing something new, even if its as simple as hammering a nail into a wall, do so away from prying eyes.

2)      Whilst using a hammer always keep your eyes open.

3)      Whatever you tell people, especially when told with pride, usually comes back and slaps you in the face.