Alpha Thinking...

You know that saying ‘fake it until you make it’?  Well, this story gives an example when faking it can almost get you killed.

It goes back to when I started working in London.  For team bonding there was an annual ski trip open to all those who wanted to come.  Being part of a new team, I was obviously going to go.  One small problem, only small one; I had not ever skied before.

Thinking it would be a sign of weakness this was not something I was going to tell the others.

Now in hindsight, I should have been on the novice slopes.  However, this was not what an ‘Alpha’ would do so I stupidly thought otherwise.  A mistake that nearly cost me my life!

It was a month away, I had plenty of time.  How hard could it be?   I would read up ‘how to’ guides and go on some weekend training courses.  How hard could it be…

I squeezed in a few 2-hour practice sessions on the local dry slope.  I had it in the bag.  The teacher even asked if I had done this before – I was a natural!  Looking back, I should have made more of the smirk he gave me when I told him I was off to Switzerland for a weekend of snow.

I was feeling good.  I would be swishing and swooshing on the slopes, none of this plough stuff that the teacher was going on about.  I would be like the people on TV.  How hard could it be…

The lead up…

We got to the resort, checked in to the lodge and within 30 mins I was at the lift with rental skis in hand.

Stephen: “We going blue or black?”

Me: “huh?” I had no idea what the heck the colours meant.

David: “Nah, let’s go blue, get everyone warmed up, we got all weekend.”

I now know the colours refer to how challenging the slope is.  Black being the most difficult and red an intermediate.  I now also know I should have headed to the baby blue slopes.

We got in the lift and it was then that I started to appreciate what I was about to do.  The view was filled with snowy mountains – amazing and just like in the films.  People dressed in bright colours speeding down the slopes.  One thing I noticed was the lack of guard rails.  Where was the safety to stop someone falling off the mountain?!  Oh my, there was nothing; you simply fell off the side if you got too close.  What the heck had I let myself in for!

While I was having a silent panic attack, the team were recounting previous trips and how drunk they got or that trick so and so completed on their snowboard.  Great fun stuff, but I was fixated on how short my life was going to be.

Funny how people can have distinctly different experiences of the same event – one person’s silent panic vs joyful excitement on the other.

A slap in the face…

To lock in my already nervous mindset I then saw something that made we want to about turn and get on the next flight back to London.  As we were making our way to the slope there was a guy who was almost walking as he approached us.  I chuckled; even I could do better than, he was just about skiing.  My chuckling stopped as he got closer.  The reason why he was slow was because he was pulling a sledge.

On the sledge was what looked like a body, strapped in and face covered.  Leaving a trail of blood in his wake.  It was like something off a bad horror film and a massive reminder slap of how dangerous this ‘fun’ weekend might be.  What the holy heck had I let myself in for!

Carrying on as if we had not seen what we just saw the rest of the group was still chatting about how great the weekend was going to be.  Had they seen this so many times that they were desensitised to the carnage?

It was time to put on the skis.

You know you are in a state of focus when you can hear your own breath.  I swear, in that moment, I think I felt my own heartbeat and it was getting faster and faster.

Stephen: “Looks good hey”

Me: “Huh?”  Just seeing his lips move, my breath and heartbeat blanking out all other sounds.

Stephen: “The snow, it looks good hey” giving me a quizzical look before launching down the slope.

To help the imagination; the next part happened in the space of 30 seconds.  It will take longer to do justice to the experience, but just note that it was over in a flash.

Cometh the hour…

David: “Come on slow coach, we got to meet the others before lunch”.  He shouted while going backwards, the dude was skiing backwards!  What on earth was he made of, could he not see the great big fall off the side!  My knees were shaking, and this man was going down a mountain in reverse…

I think I had my eyes closed…the next thing I remember was how hard the wind felt on my face.  I was off, and I was picking up speed…fast.

An aside: during the lessons I was told that if you zig zag down it will reduce the speed you pick up.  Obviously!  Makes sense I remember thinking at the time.  Which buffoon would not know something as obvious as that. 

I was that buffoon.  It was the first thing I forgot as I headed straight down as if I was on a slalom run.

“Wow, look at him go…” I think I heard, as I shot past most of the team.

I went over a bump and managed to stay upright on one ski.  The sheer momentum of the speed kept me from falling and I dared not put my lifted foot down.  All the time picking up more and more speed.  This was not at all intentional and I felt like one of those unlucky cartoon characters with the end looking ahead.

“Awesome, dude…you da’ man! One legged….” I heard as I passed the last of the team…

At this speed I was not going to be stopping in a controlled swoosh.  My mind rushed back to the lack of guard rails.  Either I would be coming to a halt or I would soon be airborne straight off the side.  Would I be the next body to be pulled on a sledge leaving my own trail of blood?

The choices were simple:

a)       I intentionally fell over and came to a stop or

b)      I would be taking a short flight with no parachute

Opting for option a, I tried to fall over but I was going too fast and my natural reaction was to stop myself falling.  Crap, instinct was keeping me from consciously toppling over.  Crap Crap Crap.  The edge of the mountain was getting closer by the second.  There was nothing for it.  For the second time I closed my eyes and….

…when next they opened I was looking at the sky.  I was on my back and alive.  I was alive!  I quickly checked my body.  Yes, all there and in one piece.  I looked down, I was about 10 feet away from the edge of the cliff, one ski still on my foot and the other lodged in the snow.

David: “Wow, skiing on leg, you show off, you will have to teach me that one.”  He said after swooshing to a stop next to me.  He really thought the near-death experience was planned showboating.

Me: “Ummm, yeah, thanks.”  My whole body shaking, I managed to keep a steady voice.

Stephen: “Right, off to the next one.”  These people did not stop.  I was struggling to stand so just knelt on the floor appearing to be lost in the view.

Me: “You guys carry on, I just want to take in the scenery.”

David: “Cool, we are going black next, see you later.”

With the team gone and my hands and legs still shaking I got up and made my way back to the hotel room.

For the next 3 hours I sat on the bed rocking back and forth.  Consoling myself and phoning everyone I held dear to tell them how much I loved and cared for them…

Take away(s)

·         There are times to fake it and other times when not to.  Golden rule: if faking it puts you in mortal danger then just don’t!

·         Zig zagging down a ski slope helps reduce and manage your speed of descent.

·         Skiing is a blast and I would encourage all to try it for themselves.  After composing myself I went on to re-join the team and had a great time.  Just get the proper training before hitting the slopes!