Easter Eggs

This is a festively themed one about Easter.

Before you read on, please note the following disclaimer:  this Easter Egg themed story will not leave you craving the chocolate egg you have been saving for the weekend.  In fact, just the opposite, you may find you are put off Easter Eggs for a few years.

So, if you are yet to tuck into your Egg, you may want to avoid this story until after consumption.  You have been warned.

Background

While studying at school and university, I would do part time jobs during the holidays.  Some examples included:

i) Making car door handles (you develop a second skin on your hands from the heat)

ii) Door to door sales (you develop a thick skin all over from all the verbal abuse)

iii) Delivery driver (you develop one hell of a tan but just on one arm)

iv) Telephone sales (no idea what you develop but it paid well!)

This story is about the weekend I went to work in a factory packing chocolate eggs for the Easter frenzy.

Crack of dawn and the coach came to pick a bunch of us from the local pub.  We were given instructions and rules on the way.

We were told that we could help ourselves to as much chocolate as we wanted.  This may sound great, however as soon as we knew it was there for the taking we found the lure of free chocolate was made obsolete.  The clever gits!

The job was explained; we had to pack the additional chocolate bars and bags that accompany the chocolate eggs.  The machines could do everything else like wrapping the chocolate egg and putting on the carboard sleeve.  But we, the humans, needed to pack the chocolates and then close the plastic casing.  The last part is important for this story; we had to seal off the plastic casing before the egg went on its merry way.

Looking around the van, my new colleagues consisted of people from all works of life, covering:

a) Fellow students like me looking to make a quick buck and score some free chocolate on the way

b) Immigrants who realised that this work was easier than busting their backs on the fields picking crops

c) Semi-retired couples who were looking to do something and earn a bit of extra money

d) And the “Lifers”; these were the seasoned pros who would come back year after year working the other festive peaks too

Lucky for me, one of the Lifers called (let’s call him Rob) took me under his wing and gave me the low down.  He knew every trick and told me where to stand to get the easiest jobs – I found out that not all chocolate eggs are created equal; some are way harder and finickity to pack than others.

The scene

Fast forward to the second day, I was shadowing Rob and a few others on the conveyor belt processing what seemed an endless supply of chocolate eggs.  By now the lure of free chocolate was really gone – I just saw different shapes and was only concerned with placing the chocolate into the plastic box in a way that made it easy to close.

What kept me going was the thought of how happy the kid was going to be when they got their egg and opened it up.  It’s almost like a mini Christmas for some people with the holidays and presents and good food.

It should also be noted that we were still in winter and there were the usual cold symptoms flying around.  One of the guys to my left had been sniffling all weekend and had spent 5 minutes holding back a sneeze.

Rob: “Hey, you got the hang of this now.  Doing good.”

Me: “Thanks, its getting easier, and its nice to know we are doing something good.”

Rob: “Huh? What do you mean?”

Me: “You know, we are packing something that will make a kid happy at Easter.  It’s nice isn’t it?”

Rob: “Yeah, guess you are right, hadn’t really thought of it that way.”  Smiling now.

At this point, the guy to my left, not being able to hold it back any more, let out an all mighty sneeze straight into the open plastic casing.  As if nothing had happened, he simply carried on and sealed the plastic and carried on.

I was horrified, the poor child that was going to get that egg!  On top of the chocolate, they were very likely to get a bout of influenza, vacuum sealed for freshness!

 Having seen the look of shock on my face, Rob chuckled and announced…

Rob: “I bet they won’t be expecting that hey!”

It was 5 years before I ate another chocolate egg again!

Take away points:

a) Nothing is sacred, not even chocolate Easter Eggs

b) Disinfect everything before eating

Apologies if you are yet to eat your Easter Egg.  You had been warned!